There are some things most of us would rather not plan.
We plan vacations. We plan birthdays. We plan gardens. Some of us even plan what we’re having for supper three days from now.
But our own funeral?
That usually stays near the bottom of the list.
And I understand why. It can feel uncomfortable. It can feel too soon. It can feel like something better left for another day.
But making a few funeral plans ahead of time can be a real act of love for the people who will someday have to make those decisions for you.
Why Funeral Planning Matters for Your Family
I have sat with many families as they planned funeral and memorial services.
They were grieving. They were tired. Some were still in shock.
And right in the middle of that grief, someone had to ask hard questions:
- What hymns would they have wanted?
- Was there a favorite Scripture?
- Who should speak?
- What stories should we share?
- What mattered most to them?
Too often, the answer is, “I don’t know.”
That is not anyone’s fault. Most families do the best they can with the love they have and the information they know.
But a few notes left behind can be a wonderful gift.
Choosing Hymns for Your Funeral Service
One simple place to start is music.
What hymns would you like at your funeral or memorial service?
Maybe you would choose:
- Amazing Grace
- How Great Thou Art
- Hymn of Promise
- It Is Well with My Soul
- Something entirely different
And preferences work both ways.
If you have spent the last thirty years thinking, “If anybody sings On Eagle’s Wings at my funeral, I am coming back to complain,” write that down too.
Your pastor will appreciate the clarity.
So will your family.
Choosing Scripture for a Funeral or Memorial Service
You may also want to write down the Scriptures that have mattered most to you.
Maybe Psalm 23 has been with you since childhood.
Maybe Romans 8 reminds you that nothing can separate us from the love of God.
Maybe Revelation 21 gives you hope with its promise that God will wipe away every tear.
Do not worry about choosing the “right” funeral Scripture.
Choose the Scripture that has been part of your journey with God.
That matters more than picking something that sounds formal or expected.
Write Down the Stories Your Family Will Treasure
Next, leave some stories.
What would you want your family and friends to remember?
You might write about:
- People and places that shaped you
- How you met your spouse or closest friends
- Work, hobbies, church ministries, or causes that mattered to you
- Adventures and family traditions
- Moments when your faith became important
- Things you are grateful for
- Stories that still make you laugh
- What you hope your children, grandchildren, or friends learned from you
- What you came to believe about grace, forgiveness, love, and God
And please, do not worry about sounding profound.
The little stories are often the ones families treasure most.
The fishing trip.
The garden.
The terrible jokes.
The dog who ran the household.
The recipe nobody else can quite duplicate.
Those details matter.
They help tell the truth of a life.
Christian Funeral Planning Is Not Giving Up
For Christians, preparing for death is not giving up on life.
It is simply telling the truth.
Our earthly lives have a beginning and an ending. But we trust that neither death nor life can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.
That hope does not erase grief.
But it gives grief somewhere to stand.
It reminds us that our lives are held by God from beginning to end, and beyond what we can see.
A Simple Way to Start Your Funeral Plans
This does not need to be a gloomy chore.
Make a cup of coffee or tea.
Sit down for a little while.
Remember the hymns that carried you. Remember the Scriptures that steadied you. Remember the people you loved, the laughter you shared, and the places where grace surprised you.
Then write some of it down.
It does not have to be perfect. It does not have to be long.
A page or two is enough to help.
Tell Someone Where to Find Your Notes
Once you write your funeral wishes down, tell someone where you put them.
Better yet, give a copy to Jessica or Peggy so the church has it on file.
Someday, the people who love you may be sitting around a table, trying to plan a service that honors your life.
Imagine their relief when someone says, “Wait. They left us some notes.”
What a wonderful final kindness that could be.
And if you really do not want On Eagle’s Wings, please do not leave that information to chance.
Grace and peace,
Pastor Rob